McDonald's CEO's firing reflects rising scrutiny of work relationships

The #MeToo era has brought new scrutiny to a wide range of workplace misconduct — from discrimination to sexual harassment to assault — that was ignored, tolerated or even covered up in some corners of corporate America.

Now, the abrupt firing of McDonald’s chief executive, Steve Easterbrook, over the weekend highlights how even consensual relationships between managers and subordinates are drawing greater scrutiny.

Many of the circumstances of Easterbrook’s dismissal remain unclear, but McDonald’s said Sunday that its board had determined he engaged in a relationship that violated company policy. Its standards of business conduct prohibit employees with “a direct or indirect reporting relationship” from “dating or having a sexual relationship.”

“It is not appropriate to show favoritism or make business decisions based on emotions or friendships rather than on the best interests of the company,” the policy states.

In a regulatory filing Monday, McDonald’s said Easterbrook would receive 6 months of severance pay. That is likely to be around $675,000, or about half his base salary last year, according to the company’s 2018 severance guidelines. In the coming years, however, he stands to receive a total of more than $40 million in compensation, including stock options, according to an estimate by Equilar, an executive compensation consulting firm.

The mere fact that a successful executive was fired because of what McDonald’s described as a “recent consensual relationship” reflects changing attitudes about romance in the workplace, employment lawyers and other experts said.

“It’s a sign of the times,” said Wendy Patrick, a business ethics lecturer at San Diego State University. “You’re under a microscope in a way today that you never were before, simply because our awareness has been raised as to the problems that could potentially cause.”

Those problems include conflicts of interest, as well as the potential for a relationship that ends badly to result in harassment and retaliation.

Since announcing the leadership change on Sunday afternoon, McDonald’s has declined to reveal further details about Easterbrook’s relationship, including the employee’s position in the company, how the board found out about the relationship and how long it had lasted.

On Monday, McDonald’s human-resources chief, David Fairhurst, left the company. A spokeswoman for the fast-food chain wouldn’t say if the exit was linked to the investigation into Easterbrook’s relationship.

In recent years, other companies have taken similar actions penalizing workplace relationships. Last year, Intel’s chief executive, Brian Krzanich, resigned after the company discovered that he’d had a relationship with an employee — a violation of Intel’s “non-fraternization policy,” which applies to all managers.

“There has been a definite trend in the direction of written policies prohibiting romantic relationships between executives and their subordinates,” said Mark Spund, an employment lawyer in New York.

The policies can take a variety of forms. For example, many companies permit mid-level managers to have relationships with employees as long as they report the relationship. The rules for executives tend to be stricter.

“Companies in the aftermath of #MeToo have really understood that there’s an inherent power differential and what’s perceived to be consensual in the eyes of the executive may not be with the subordinate,” said Debra Katz, an employment attorney in Washington who has dealt extensively with workplace sexual harassment.

Still, sensitivity about workplace relationships — especially those involving a power imbalance — existed long before the #MeToo movement focused national attention on the misbehavior of men in power, shaking the entertainment, media and technology industries, among many others. In 2012, Best Buy’s chief executive, Brian Dunn, resigned after engaging in what the company described as “an extremely close personal relationship with a female employee.”

Both Dunn and the employee claimed that the relationship was not romantic. But an investigation by Best Buy found that Dunn had given the employee tickets to sporting events and concerts and that the pair had exchanged numerous phone calls and texts, some of which contained “messages expressing affection.”

And in 2005, Boeing’s chief executive, Harry Stonecipher, was forced to resign after he had a relationship with an employee.

The decision to fire Easterbrook may also reflect the specific pressures facing McDonald’s, which has been criticized recently for sexual harassment at the franchise level. Several Democratic presidential candidates this year have joined striking workers in demanding better protection from harassment, as well as union rights and a $15 minimum wage.

McDonald’s may want to “send a message to their employees that any kind of power-driven relationship is out of bounds,” said Eric Schiffer, an expert on reputation management.

2019 The New York Times Company

source: news.abs-cbn.com

Tinder Gold offers smarter swiping at a price

“Tinder’s definitely not a game,” said Elie Seidman, the company’s chief executive, in a recent interview. “At the core, it’s about human connection.”

If you squint, though, the app doesn’t look so different from the countless mobile games on the market. Tinder has a clear objective and explicit rules. At any time of day, there are tens of millions of people playing, er, swiping, on the dating app. And, like the games with which it competes for screen time, Tinder charges users who want a leg up.

For example, in Clash of Clans, a mobile game in which you build and defend a village, you can use real money to buy “gems,” the basic currency of that game. On Tinder, you can buy extra “super likes” (which alert others that you are enamored of them) and “boosts” (which make your profile more visible to people in the area).

Or, to really increase your chances, you might subscribe to Tinder Gold for about $30 a month. (The price depends on multiple factors, including where you live and how many years you have walked the Earth searching for a partner.)

Tinder Gold grants users access to a feature called “Likes You,” which gives them a list of people who have swiped right on them. Suddenly, there’s no futile swiping whatsoever. Instead, you’ve got a (hopefully long) list of strangers with whom you’re guaranteed to match. It’s something like god mode, for a dating app.

“The structure of those in-app purchases are highly similar to the structure of in-app purchases for games, in that you have those special abilities,” said Randy Nelson, the head of mobile insights at Sensor Tower, an analytics firm. “A direct line can be drawn from the boosts and power-ups in a game to the boosts and power-ups in Tinder.”

Tinder has leveraged these to great effect since introducing Tinder Gold in 2017. It has become, according to Sensor Tower and App Annie, another analytics firm, the top-grossing nongaming app in the world.

And it’s only getting bigger: Tinder announced on Tuesday that it had added more than 500,000 subscribers worldwide in the last quarter, for a total of more than 5 million people paying for Tinder Gold or the less expensive Tinder Plus.

Back in 2015, according to Sensor Tower, the App Store’s top 10 grossing apps for the second quarter were all games. But in 2016, a subscription app, Spotify, entered the mix. In the second quarter of 2019, four nongaming apps — Tinder, Netflix, YouTube and Tencent Video — are in the top 10, along with games like Honor of Kings and Candy Crush Saga.

Tinder’s pricing structure splits the difference between those games and something like YouTube, whose premium package removes irritating advertisements and allows access to otherwise unavailable content.

Tinder is run by Match Group, the behemoth that owns most of the dating apps one might use, with the exception of Bumble. Another Match Group company, OkCupid, introduced Likes You as an option for paying customers starting in 2012. But Tinder’s founders were reluctant to incorporate it.

Gary Swidler, the chief financial officer of Match Group, said that “there was concern about breaking that core foundational principle of the double opt-in.”

The app’s current chief has no such qualms.

“They were mistaken,” Seidman said. (Several of the app’s founders, including Sean Rad, a former chief executive, are in a legal dispute with Match and its parent company, IAC.)

Most people think of Tinder as a free app, and it is free to most of its millions of users. Brent Thill, an analyst who covers the company for Jefferies Technology Group, said that Match Group overall had more than 80 million users. (The company does not release specific numbers for each app.)

Swidler said that roughly 70% of Tinder’s revenue comes from subscriptions; the other 30 percent comes from à la carte features, along with a small amount from advertising.

Some experts who had expressed doubt in Match Group have recently shifted gears. Goldman Sachs had advised investors to sell its stock in February, citing the likelihood of Tinder Gold subscribers ending their subscriptions and Facebook’s gearing up in the dating space. But in May, Goldman analysts adjusted their estimate, calling their previous view “myopic” in light of Match’s consistent subscriber growth.

That growth comes as Match Group continues to expand into new markets, building up its user base around the world.

“You get a huge advantage by getting a lot of free users,” Swidler said, explaining the company’s “product first, then monetization” strategy. Essentially, the larger the pool of people using Tinder, the more who might eventually pay for certain benefits. If they get frustrated enough.


2019 New York Times News Service

source: news.abs-cbn.com

2016: The year love died in Hollywood

The imminent divorce of "Brangelina" is the latest in a series of celebrity splits giving the impression that the average Hollywood marriage has about as much chance of success as a non-white actor at the Oscars.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie-Pitt have both been through divorces before, he with "Friends" star Jennifer Aniston and she with actors Jonny Lee Miller and Billy Bob Thornton.

This year has also seen Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin finalize their famous "conscious uncoupling" around the same time that Johnny Depp and Amber Heard were squabbling over the terms of their split.

Drew Barrymore, Lisa Marie Presley, Dennis Quaid and James McAvoy have announced divorces from their respective partners too, sparking some gossip websites to refer to 2016 as the year of the Hollywood divorce.

In 2012 statistics website PolitiFact estimated that the lifelong probability of an American marriage ending in divorce was 40–50 percent, citing academics and the National Survey of Family Growth.

Kelly Frawley, a partner at New York law firm Kasowitz, Benson, Torres and Friedman, believes that while there is no reason to think the rich and famous split more often than the rest of us, the pressures which put strain on relationships are amplified in the rarified air of Tinseltown.

"There are standard things that cause marriages to disintegrate -- concerns about money, fights about how to raise the children, issues of fidelity," she told AFP.

"Those are much bigger scale when you are dealing with a celebrity couple because there's so much accessibility to all the things that make it easy to step out of a marriage.

"You can spend money with ease, you can leave with ease, you can have affairs with ease."

- 'Unique microscope' -
It's not all doom and gloom. Denzel and Pauletta Washington have been going strong since 1983 while Billy Crystal, Christopher Walken and their respective sweethearts expect to celebrate golden wedding anniversaries before the end of the decade.

But unlike skin peels, kale and the 5:2 diet, divorce is one celebrity fad that has endured through the ages and the Hollywood hills are littered with the carcasses of euthanized showbiz marriages.

Among the high profile casualties are Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, who announced on June 30 2015, one day after their ten-year anniversary, that they were calling it a day.

Tom Cruise was on his third marriage by the time he and Katie Holmes split in 2012 and there were divorces in 2010 for Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson, and Elizabeth Hurley and Arun Nayar.

"Celebrities are under a unique microscope, where every nuance is dissected over and over again the slightest misunderstanding is reported like you're splitting up right away," said Judi Bloom, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Southern California.

"That can really wear down a couple in the end."

One big problem for Hollywood couples, she told AFP, is that they spend so much time apart on their separate projects, which can "pull at the fabric of a relationship."

Some avoid growing apart by continuing to work together after getting hitched.

Warren Beatty and Annette Bening began dating during the filming of "Bugsy" in 1991, married a year later and filmed "Love Affair" together in 1994.

- Breathing space -

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett are still together a quarter century after meeting on the set of his sitcom "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" when she auditioned to play his girlfriend.

She didn't get the part but she got Smith -- marrying the actor in 1997 and appearing alongside him in 2001 biopic "Ali."

It doesn't always work, of course.

Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton have joined forces for no fewer than seven films but called it a day after 13 years, an unlucky number which was also the length of the marriage of Woody Allen and Mia Farrow, and the number of his films in which she appeared.

Rob Shuter, a former Hollywood publicist for Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Simpson and others who now runs NaughtyGossip.com, told AFP celebrities and their representatives plan divorce announcements down to the most minute detail.

"The announcement about Brad and Angie came out one day after the weekly magazines went to print, which means that they get a week of breathing space," he said.

Shuter says that while print is less important in the digital age than it used to be, the timing was still "a disaster" for People, which has the largest audience of any American magazine, and its rival Us Weekly.

He believes Pitt would have been the more passive partner in planning their divorce announcement because of Jolie-Pitt's track record with carefully stage-managing the news cycle.

"When she was pregnant with Shiloh she didn't make the announcement with an official statement, she walked around the corner and let her bump show for 'People' magazine," he said.

source: www.abs-cbnnews.com

Kathryn told not to have boyfriend until she's 18

MANILA, Philippines -- Love must wait for young actor Daniel Padilla, who must slug it out for another year to win the heart of his leading lady Kathryn Bernardo.

In an interview on Thursday during the press conference for their movie "Must Be... Love," Bernardo admitted that her mother, Min, had requested her not to have a boyfriend until she turns 18 next year.

"Sana hindi muna. Pero gusto niya din ako na maging normal girl na may nanliligaw pero sana ay huwag muna. Pero pwede magpaligaw," Bernardo said.

Asked to describe her current relationship with Padilla, the young actress replied:"Parang ganoon (mutual understanding or MU) siguro. Kasi iba-iba ang definition ng MU sa atin. Kaming dalawa nagkakaintindihan kami. Siguro parang high school 'yung stage naming dalawa. Basta hindi minamadali."

"Siguro masasabi ko na nade-develop talaga ang feelings habang nagtatagal na nakakasama ko si DJ kasi mabuti po siyang lalaki," she added.

Despite this, Bernardo stressed that she is not prohibiting Padilla from pursuing other girls.

"Hindi ko naman siya binabawalan na manligaw sa iba kasi wala pa akong right kasi choice niya kung ano ang gusto niya," she said.

Not jealous of fans

In the interview, Bernardo also cleared that she is jealous of Padilla's fans.

"Hindi totoo 'yon lalo na sa mga babae kasi ma-a-attract sila kay DJ kasi kumakanta. ...Bakit ko naman sila pipigilan?" she said.

Bernardo even stressed that she is proud of Padilla's success.

"Nakaka-proud nga kasi ang daming nagkakagusto kay DJ kaya 'yung sinasabi nilang isyu na nagse-selos ako lalo na sa mga fans hindim hindi po yon totoo," she added.

Aside from acting, Padilla has also successfully ventured into singing. Apart from his best-selling CD, Padilla was also chosen to participate performance at last Sunday's Himig Handog P-Pop Love Song finals.

His song "Nasa Iyo Na Ang Lahat" was the biggest winner in the various listeners' choice awards done by online voting, CD purchases or music video requests.

source: abs-cbnnews.com

Jose Manalo on love: 'Huwag muna'

MANILA, Philippines - Comedian Jose Manalo said he is not yet ready to open his heart again since he just came from a failed relationship.

"Huwag na muna," he told actress-host Kris Aquino on Monday's episode of "Kris TV".

 Manalo recently separated with his wife Anna Lyn.

"Mayroon, mayroon. May trauma na ng konti," he said of his failed relationship.


"So hindi pa siguro ngayon (love), wala naman yatang taong hindi kailangan 'yon, open to the public," he said.

While he has no more communication with Anna Lyn, Manalo stressed that he has been providing financial support to his children.

"Kumpleto 'yon," he said. "Basta 'yung obligasyon bilang ama kahit wala ako doon eh tuloy tuloy. Minsan sila ang kumukuha, minsan pinapadala."

Film with Pokwang

Manalo and fellow comedian Wally Bayola made a guest appearance on "Kris TV" to promote their film "D' Kilabots Pogi Brothers... Weh!?" with ace comedienne Pokwang, who is close to Aquino.

In the film, Pokwang plays the love interest of Bayola.

"Tumaas ang level ko, kasi sa '24/7 in Love' si Sam Milby, tapos Wally oh!" she said in jest.

Also part of the film is Solenn Heussaff, who portrays the love interest of Manalo.

"Si Solenn, eh wala, 'yun ang binigay," Manalo joked, referring to the beautiful actress.

source: abs-cbnnews.com

How Hubert Webb found love in prison

MANILA, Philippines – Despite being in prison for 15 long years, Hubert Webb was still able to find love.

In fact, four women became part of Webb’s life at the time, either his pals or family friends who came to visit him at the New Bilibid Prisons in Muntinlupa City.

“The first one was a good friend of my mom, the daughter. Mga three years [naging kami],” Webb said in an interview on the ABS-CBN morning talk show “Kris TV,” where he and his father, former senator Freddie Webb, made a guest appearance.

“The second and third, most of the time they just visit and we got to know each other through the course of time,” he added.

Things began to get serious, however, when Hubert met his fourth girlfriend while in prison. While her name was not mentioned just like the others, the woman was described as a chef who is six years younger than he is.

“It’s like meeting someone you know you can spend the rest of your life with,” said Hubert, as “Kris TV” flashed pictures of him with his girlfriend.



His father said Hubert initially kept their relationship a secret from the family, explaining that the girl was “shy.”

“’Yung number four na ‘yan, matagal niyang tinago sa amin. ‘Pag dadating kami [sa kulungan], wala siya doon. Sabi ko, ‘Hubert, balita ko meron kang nililigawan and she comes here when we’re not around,’” the elder Webb shared.

“Mahiyain ‘yung girl. It took time, like maybe a month, and then sumasama na sa pagkain namin.”

The ex-senator praised the girl for being serious about the relationship despite his son’s situation. But Hubert, who was still in prison at the time, would rather not tie the knot just yet.

“Ang gusto ng girl magpakasal na sila. Ayaw ni Hubert kasi ang iniisip ni Hubert, ‘paano tayo magpapakasal, hindi ko alam kung kailan ako lalabas dito sa kulungan?’ And ayaw ko na magkaanak ako na dadalhin dito na nasa kulungan ako. Maghintay ka ‘pag nakalaya na ako, at saka tayo mag-usap ng kasalan,’” the older Webb explained.

“And the girl could not wait that long. They were together for four and a half to five years.”

Now, two years since getting his freedom back, Hubert is still hesitant about getting married, saying that he is only concerned about his future family.

“For now, my principle has always been the same. You have to be able to provide for the girl, etc. While I’m still looking for something to provide for my future family, ganoon na rin ang situation namin,” he said.

Aside from being thankful to his girlfriend for loving him for who he is, Hubert also expressed happiness that her family has accepted him as well.

“Yes, they’ve accepted me na rin. Of course, it takes time. I can’t blame them,” he said.

In 2010, Hubert and five others were acquitted on the much publicized Vizconde massacre case that took place in June 1991, ending years of their burden of being incarcerated.

source: abs-cbnnews.com

Ai Ai defends relationship with younger man

MANILA, Philippines - Even cougars deserve to be happy and loved.

In an interview with KrisTV on Friday, comedienne Ai Ai delas Alas, who's now with Jed Salang, a businessman 20 years her junior, said a relationship between a woman who's much older than a man is possible with God's love.

Delas Alas said she's aware that people might think that Salang is just after her wealth. She added, however, that what's important in a relationship is not the age or wealth gap but love.

"Palagi namang ganoon eh. Minsan sinasabi ko sa sarili ko yung kapag may ibang tao yun ang sinasabi, minsan tinatanong ko ang sarili ko 'bakit hindi ba ako pwedeng mahalin ng isang disenteng bata?' Hindi ba, pwede naman. Mukha lang akong walang pinag-aralan pero college gradute ako. Sabi ko 'cute naman ako, maputi naman ako, maganda naman ako, pwede naman, hindi ba?' So yun sinasabi ko na lang sa sarili ko," delas Alas said.

"Hindi lahat parating puro pera. Hindi lahat ito yung habol ng isang tao. Pwedeng mangyari na ang dalawang  tao ay nagmamahalan ng hindi lang dahil sa ganoon," she added.

"Sa aming dalawa, wala kaming sabit. Wala siyang sabit, wala akong sabit. May mga anak kami pero parating tinatanong 'bakit siya (si Ai Ai) eh mas matanda siya sa iyo?' Yun lang  naman ang deprensiya namin yung age namin. Ngayon naniniwala ako na age doesn't matter. Ang pag-ibig, hindi nakikita sa kung ano ang edad mo. Ang pag-ibig hindi nakikita kung mahirap o mayaman ka. Ang pagmamahal nandoon yon, emosyonal yon, it's a universal feeling na nararamdaman ng dalawang tao na hindi natin mae-explain kung bakit. Ako I think noong una ko siyang nakita, nararamdaman ko 'ito destiny ko.'"

Salang comes from a well-off family and works as a manager in the family's car dealership.

Salang said he doesn't mind people asking him why he chose delas Alas.

"(Ang sagot ko) hindi ko alam, wala naman kayong magagawa, yun ang gusto ko eh. Para sa akin, kapag nagtataong 'Babe, tinitignan mo ba yung age gap natin?' Sabi ko 'ako hindi ko maramdaman yung age natin ay ganito. Parang feeling ko ay magkasing-age tayo, magkasing level tayo, yung ganoon,'" Salang said.

source: abs-cbnnews.com

Gerald Anderson not closing his doors on love

MANILA, Philippines – Actor Gerald Anderson admitted he is not closing his doors to anyone who has been part of his past, saying he never knows what the future holds.

Speaking before a pool of reporters, Anderson said he may not be communicating as much with Pop Star Princess Sarah Geronimo anymore but he still considers the singer as someone special.

“Sabi ko nga sa iyo, paano magiging closed 'yan eh hindi naman natin kayang basahin ang future. Hindi na gaano, hindi na [kami] masyado [nakakapag-usap]. Oo naman, oo naman [espesyal pa rin siya],” he said.

The same holds true for his former girlfriend Kim Chiu, who again is his leading lady in the Star Magic movie “24/7 in Love.”

“Sino ba ang nagko-close talaga ng door? Mahirap 'yan, paano 'yan? Siyempre hindi naman natin puwedeng basahin 'yung future kung anong mangyayari,” he said.

According to Anderson, he is not stopping himself for falling in love again but as of the moment, he is not really looking for love.

“Lagi naman akong open sa lahat basta tamang timing at kung masaya ako at masaya siya kung sino man 'yun. Pero alam mo 'yun, hindi ko naman hinahanap o alam mo 'yun, hindi ko naman kailangan hanapin 'yun,” he said.

Anderson said he just prays that the right girl would come to his life at the right time.

But if given the choice, Anderson said he would like his next girlfriend to be someone not from show business.

“Given a choice sana non-showbiz para alam mo 'yun maiba naman, tahimik. Pero you’ll never know, you’ll never know, hindi ko pa rin masabi,” he said.

source: abs-cbnnews.com

Rayver refuses to give love advice to Gerald

MANILA, Philippines – Actor Rayver Cruz thinks his friend, actor Gerald Anderson, does not need his advice anymore when it comes to love.



In an interview with ABS-CBN News after the Dolphy Alay Tawa event on Wednesday, Cruz said Anderson is matured enough to know what he is getting himself into.

“Wala namang payo kasi malaki na 'yang Gerald eh. Alam na niya ang mga ginagawa niya, mga desisyon niya sa buhay,” he said.



Cruz, however, assured Anderson that he will be behind him no matter what he decides on.

“Ang masasabi ko lang, lagi lang naman ako nandito para sa kanya. Text mo lang ako bro,” he said.

Anderson was romantically linked to Pop Star Princess Sarah Geronimo, Cruz’s former girlfriend. However, Anderson admitted early this month that he already stopped courting Geronimo.

“Sana po respetuhin nalang, nag-decide kami to be friends and ‘yun ang importante,” Anderson had said, adding that it was a mutual decision to end their special relationship.

Gerald-Cristine project
Aside from talking about a love advice, Cruz reiterated that he has no problems that Anderson and his girlfriend, actress Cristine Reyes, are set to work on a project.

“Masaya kasi bukod sa may show silang dalawa, alam naman nating lahat na si Gerald isa sa pinakamalapit kong kaibigan tapos makakatrabaho niya si Cristine so masaya ako para sa kanila,” he said.

Cruz said he does not meddle with Reyes’ career, adding that he is happy that his girlfriend has a lot of opportunities.

“Excited ako kasi malamang maganda na naman 'yon. Wala akong problema, hindi ko pinapakialaman 'yung work ni Cristine. Kung ano man mangyari, happy ako sa takbo ng career niya,” he said.

source: abs-cbnnews.com

Love Is A Decision

MANILA, Philippines — Gone are the days of love letters and harana. ‘Tis the age of e-cards and social networking sites, of videos of love confessions and marriage proposals on YouTube. And being in a relationship today is as easy as changing one’s Facebook status from “Single” to “In a relationship” or “It’s complicated.”

In this day and age, when the young spend most of their time online, they are exposed to more potential relationships, be it friendship or full-blown romantic relationships.

“The pervasiveness of the internet would expose young people to more potential relationships. I would say the interaction is quicker, you can befriend someone even outside of your country or an online boyfriend or girlfriend,” explains Ronald Molmisa, a Christan youth minister, academic teacher and author.

Times may have changed but is the concept of the younger generation of relationships and true love has been lost in the digital world?

What Is True Love?

Molmisa has been a pastor of a Christian youth ministry for 15 years now. He has interacted with hundreds of teenagers, counselling them on their relationship problems. He is also an author of the book “Lovestruck: Love Mo Siya, Sure Ka Ba?” a book geared to tell teenagers the value of love and relationships.

In his experience in talking to the youth, Molmisa discovered that the young people’s concept of love and relationships has drastically changed due to peer pressure or the influence of media.

“Their concept on traditional relationship has changed but it depends who influences them. Based on studies, one of the things that preserve one’s values is the family, faith or religion, and then school,” he says.

The influence of the family, he adds, is very important because without it, young people tend to look for something or someone to fill the void. Being in a dysfunctional family can push a child to get his/her concept of love and relationships from somebody else.

“Today, many young people look for love in the wrong places. That’s sad. We really need to strengthen the influence of the family, the church and the school. The parents don’t even watch what their kids do on the internet. It’s dangerous in a sense that your child is exposed to something he/ she is not ready for. It again boils down to the family,” Molmisa shares.

More often than not, their concept of true love is shallow and roughly based on emotions. Molmisa says that the youth should remember that love is not based on emotions but on a decision.

He says that physical attraction is being confused with love when it is in fact just infatuation. They need to remember that love is not based on the shallow perception of physical attraction but rather a decision to love him/her despite of.

“The problem is kids today base it on looks. When they get older, it changes, more on security, etc. They should not confuse love with infatuation. Infatuation is shallow in a sense that it is driven by emotions. Most of the time you become self-centered, it’s all about how you feel, how the relationship makes you happy ,” Molmisa says.

Of Casual Relationships And Hollywood

The advent of TV shows and movies that tackle casual relationships reinforces the notion that it is okay not to treat relationship seriously.

“We are influenced by the Westernized notions on dating and relationships. We are influenced by Hollywood culture. Given the media that we have right now, the television and movies are still bigger of an influence than internet. These shows reinforce notions of virtual and casual relationships,” Molmisa explains.

Moreover, kids who commit themselves in relationships are getting younger and younger. Again, television plays a big role. The concept of “tweens,” an age bracket from 10 years old to early teenage years, never existed before.

“Today as early as elementary, the kids already enter relationships. It may be more childish and maybe just a game for them but this is the effect of the media to them. ‘Tweens’ TV shows tackles romance between young kids. It does somehow reflect what is happening now but these shows just reinforce it and they give an idea to more kids,” he shares.

What’s more disturbing is that the kids today are more exposed to the world of sex, no thanks to the internet. Pornography is so widespread it can also be seen even in social networking sites where most of the kids spend their time on.

Relationships Are Not Games

Molmisa discovered that kids today are treating relationships like games. One example is the “pasa-pasahan” culture of boys in public schools. A boy from a group of friends would take the opportunity to create a relationship with an ex-girlfriend of a friend.

“Every youth group has a different culture. You will be surprised at the attitudes of kids in public schools. I discovered the culture of ‘pasa pasahan’ among a group of male friends. The boys would create relationships with the ex-girlfriend of a friend until all of the boys in the group had a relationship with that girl. Relationships are important to them because it boosts their self esteem. There’s peer pressure to have a girlfriend or boyfriend. Acceptance in the group is so important to them,” he shares.

A relationship is not a game, Molmisa emphasizes and the youth should treat every relationship seriously.

“From a perspective of a youth minister, there are tried and tested biblical principles that we should obey for us to not to get hurt when committing in a relationship. For me, relationships are meant to be permanent. The people who get into relationships today can easily get out of it because of the new culture,” he says.

He says that it is okay to have an online relationship as long as they also have an offline connection. To sustain a serious relationship, one needs to have a physical interaction and not just virtual.

Stay Single, For Now

More importantly, Molmisa says that relationships can wait. Young people should enjoy being single and worry about relationships in the future. He advises the youth to remember four things — God, parents, good friends, and dreams.

“First, find your happiness in God. People may fail you, people may love you but time will come when you will be frustrated because we all have our weaknesses. But if your eyes are fixed on the one you love, no matter what, you will be satisfied. That’s the greatest love affair you can have, with God,” he says.

Kids should obey they parents because they know what’s best for them. Choosing the right set of friends will also help how one deal with relationships.

“You should focus on achieving you dreams. When you have a girlfriend or boyfriend, you allot time for them. Oftentimes they get pregnant because of these relationships. You should delay any relationships first. Focus on your studies and set yourself to achieve your goals and dreams,” Molmisa ends.


source: mb.com.ph

Valentine-themed spam to rise four-fold this year – McAfee

MANILA, Phiippines — Internet users smitten by the love bug this Valentine’s Day need to be wary about being carried away by their emotions as security software firm McAfee warns that cyber criminals could be on the prowl on hearts–and eventually, pockets–this season of love.

According to a recent threat bulletin from McAfee, the amount of Valentine-themed spam messages is expected to “quadruple globally, as we approach the holiday, based on previous years of spam volumes.”

“This means that the bad guys are trying to take advantage of our open hearts with romance-related scams designed to trick you out of your information and money, or get you to click on dangerous links,” McAfee said.

These suspicious messages could come in the form of unsolicited mail advertising Valentine gifts; Valentine e-cards; online dating scams; romance-related malware; and phishing sites found on search engines, the antivirus provider said.

“One of the reasons we’re seeing an influx in this kind of spam is because scammers are using a technique called ‘snowshoe spamming’ in which they spread spam across multiple Internet addresses to evade spam filters,” it cautioned.

Should users receive any of the messages stated above, McAfee said they should be judicious enough to verify the source of the message, as in the case of e-cards.

“If you click on a link in a phony e-card, you could wind up accidentally downloading malware onto your device,” it pointed out.

The company also warned users who are looking for potential gifts to give to their loved ones through search engines to be extra vigilant, since scammers are always on the prowl and could trick users into giving up their credit card information.

“You may, for instance, come across a dangerous website while doing a search for ‘Valentine’s Day jewelry’,” it said. “Attracted by the site’s low prices, you may enter your credit card number and personal information and then get sweet nothings in return.”

But cyber criminals could also come in the form of an unsuspecting potential flame found on one of the myriad of online dating sites, McAfee said, pretending to be a sweet talker seemingly interested in forging romantic involvements online.

For these types of crooks, McAfee reiterates an age-old advice to “be suspicious of anyone who claims to fall in love too fast,” because they may actually be after your wallet, if not out to break your heart.

“Do an online search on any potential suitor to see if what they’ve said about themselves is true. Cross-reference the information you have against sites like LinkedIn or Spoke,” it added.

source: interaksyon.com

KC confirms breakup with Piolo, reveals 'may mga bagay na hindi ko na kayang lunukin'

MANILA, Philippines - KC Concepcion has finally laid long-running speculations to rest by admitting that she and Piolo Pascual have called it quits after an estimated year-long romance.

In what may well be her most emotional interview to date via "The Buzz" on Nov. 27, KC did not reveal the reason behind their breakup because "ayoko lang makasakit ng tao." She likewise begged off answering her co-host Boy Abunda's query if there's a third party involved in the split.

Nevertheless, the singer-host-actress pointed out that, "PJ [Piolo's nickname] knows exactly why we broke up." This reason, she added, was also the "worst" part of their relationship.

Couple problems

The 26-year-old KC gave indirect yet seemingly telling statements about issues that she and Piolo, 34, had as lovers.

"May mga hinahanap ako na napaka-basic lang na hanapin ng isang babae sa isang boyfriend, sa isang lalaki. Ayoko na sigurong pumunta sa details kasi ayokong siraan siya. Pero let’s just say na lahat talaga kaya ko, lahat, lahat-lahat... Tinanggap ko 'yung anak niya. Kahit may mga times na hindi ko siya maintindihan, tinanggap ko kasi sinasabi sa akin ng mga kaibigan namin na personality niya 'yun. Kapag may mga bagay na hindi ako sang-ayon, na dapat ginagawa sa isang babae, tinatanggap ko kasi naniniwala akong mabait siyang tao," she said.

KC eventually broke down. "May mga bagay na hindi ko na kayang lunukin… Hindi ko na kaya 'yun tanggapin…"

In their relationship, KC admitted that she was also at fault in some aspects, saying, "Syempre ginusto ko naman 'to di ba? So kasalanan ko rin sa sarili ko kasi pinaglaban ko pa eh. Ginusto ko eh. Tsaka sobra-sobra talaga akong nagtiwala. Sobra."

"Minsan kailangan mo rin intindihin 'yung sarili mo kasi bigay lang ako nang bigay, tsaka iniintindi ko lahat. Parang masyado akong nagbigay ng benefit of the doubt sa lahat. Intindi lang ako nang intindi, tinatanggap ko lang nang tinatanggap. 'Yun pala hindi pala dapat ganon," she also said.

A lot of things became clear to KC in their first anniversary last Oct. 21, particularly, "'yung mga kaya ko at hindi ko kayang gawin," she said.

Boy asked, "Bilang girlfriend?" KC firmly responded, "Bilang babae."

Though extremely painful, KC realized that "hindi ako 'yung kailangan niya sa buhay niya. Or hindi ako 'yung hinanahanap niya sa buhay niya. And hindi ko mabigay sa kanya 'yung kailangan niya."

Madness and second chances

The months that led to their breakup weren't easy for KC, given that, as she admitted, she's not the type to open her problems up to people.

"Nung time na na-realize ko na talagang hindi na talaga 'to gagana, dalawa or tatlong buwan talaga ako pumapasok sa 'The Buzz' every Sunday or sa 'ASAP [Rocks]' na kunyari okay lang lahat, kasi akala ko parang mawawala lang siya... akala ko parang hindi naman kailangan malaman ng ibang tao para maayos 'yung problema but then, talagang ‘pag pumapasok ako tapos pagdating ng commercial break, hindi ko na talaga alam kung anong mararamdaman ko dahil sa lahat ng pinagdadaanan namin... nagkukulong na lang ako sa banyo. Hindi ko na pwedeng gawin 'yun eh. Hindi ko na siya kayang mag-isa," KC said at length.

The recent US tour she did with Piolo, as well as with Yeng Constantino, also became like an "exam" and a "tug of war" for KC, "Kasi ito 'yung taong minahal ko o mahal mo, pero sobra akong nasasaktan ngayon, pero mahal ko siya, pero hindi na talaga pwede," she said.

She added, "And araw-araw na magkasama kami iniisip ko 'dito lang tayo sa Amerika nagkaroon ng panahon na tayong dalawa lang, ni hindi natin na-enjoy dahil hindi na talaga gagana.'"

All the pain and disappointments eventually piled up and turned to anger, KC recalled. The effects apparently appalled her.

"First time ko rin na parang napapamura na rin ako. Hindi naman ako gano'n, and bigla na lang akong maiiyak kasi hindi pala ako okay."

"[And] never pa akong nakapagdasal ng ganito ka-sobra. First time kong magdasal ng ganito, na talagang, Diyos na 'yun, pwede pa akong magtiwala... And siya lang po talaga yung naging kakampi ko sa lahat," said KC.

She lamented the manner in which Piolo addressed the then-rumors about their relationship.

"Siya natatawa lang siya kapag nakikita kong ini-interview siya, idadaan na lang niya sa joke. Na parang ako, 'Bakit ikaw ganyan, ako ganito?' Bakit parang hanggang sa huli, mag-isa lang ako dito?" she said, adding that she was unsure how to spill the beans to her mother, Megastar Sharon Cuneta, as well as to her grandmother, Elaine Cuneta, who KC stressed, loves the hunk singer-actor dearly.

Piolo nevertheless apologized to KC and asked for another chance.

"Ganun naman po si PJ, humihingi po ng tawad pero ang point naman po ng pagpapatawad ng isang babae is para sana hindi na maulit. Kasi hindi ka naman magpapatawad na iisipin mong paulit-ulit tapos paulit-ulit din na magso-sorry," she said.

KC said she gave Piolo seven chances, but when it got to the eighth, she realized, "hindi lahat ng problema nadadaan sa kilig… nadadaan sa tawa."

"Kasi ang galing-galing niyang magpakilig. Ang tanga-tanga ko nga eh. Dumating lang siya sa point na sandali lang, parang hindi na natin ina-ano 'yung totoong nangyayari. Kasi titignan ka lang niya, ay wala na talaga, nakalimutan ko na lahat. Eh lagi na lang gano'n," she lamented.

Lessons learned

Despite everything that they went through, KC said, "Naniniwala naman ako na ‘pag sinasabi ni PJ na minahal niya ako, naniniwala naman ako na meron namang katotohanan 'yon."

Her first "showbiz" relationship--as KC would say--taught her to be more mature.

"First relationship ko din na seryoso talaga na to the point na talagang may mga bagay na hindi naman kumportable, nagagawa mong tanggapin kasi mahal mo and you choose to accept... Mas naiintindihan ko kung ano 'yung pagmamahal. It sounds corny pero mas [naging] accepting ako," she said.

Asked what were the key lessons she learned from their relationship, the Mega-daughter said, "Magtira ka para sa sarili mo, at ang tiwala na ibibigay mo sa taong mamahalin mo, dapat alagaan nung taong mahal mo."

As of now, KC said she and Piolo are on "civil" terms.

"Ang hinihingi ko lang sa kanya, 'PJ please wag kang magagalit sa'kin dahil nasaktan ako. Wag kang magagalit sa'kin dahil hindi ako perpekto. Wag kang magagalit sa'kin dahil may mga bagay na hindi ko na kayang intindihin at tanggapin. Wag kang magagalit sa'kin kung kailangan ko munang maramdaman 'to lahat, kung kailangan ko munang mag-respond at mag-react, kung paano normal na mag-react ang isang babae sa sitwasyon ko. Please.'"

Notwithstanding the pain and the tears, KC remains hopeful about love. Her wish? "Makahanap ako ng true love!" she exclaimed, laughing while tears filled her eyes.

source: mb.com.ph