For lesbians, TikTok is ‘the next Tinder’

On Feb. 3, Lauren Vlach received $8 on Venmo, spread across four $2 payments, from a girl she had never met. Each payment included a block of text; read together, they formed what Cas Stephens, who sent the payments, titled her “girlfriend application” to Vlach.

Name: Cas Stephens

Location: Minnesota

One of the pros of dating her: “Can do a back flip on a snowboard.”

One of the cons: “Have not seen any Disney movies.”

Though she pursued her on Venmo, Stephens, 20, found Vlach, 22, on TikTok, where her videos were racking up thousands of views. Stephens, on the other hand, didn’t have a profile picture yet. She figured it would be easier to get Vlach’s attention elsewhere and seized on the Venmo handle listed in her bio.

Her application was accepted, and they went on their first date that night, to watch the sun rise at the Minnesota state Capitol in St. Paul. They have been documenting their relationship on TikTok ever since.

“Proves TikTok is the best lesbian dating app,” Vlach wrote in the caption of their first video together.

This is a common sentiment on Lesbian TikTok, a corner of the app dominated by funky earrings and references to indie musician Girl in Red. Like other niches, Lesbian TikTok has its own influencers, cliques, memes and drama. But it is also a hub of community, where those discovering, questioning and embracing their attraction to other women can find friends, solidarity and even love.

Like other social media, TikTok connects LGBTQ people around the world. And the impulse to convene online has only gotten stronger during quarantine. According to data from market research firm Sensor Tower, approximately 338 million first-time users downloaded TikTok from the App Store and Google Play from March 1 to May 31.

“A lot of my straight friends will be like, ‘Why don’t you just meet people in real life?’ But it’s hard to know if someone’s gay sometimes, and it can be kind of anxiety-inducing to bring that up with people,” said Rachael Thompson, 20, who lives in Arlington, Texas, and recently met up with a TikTok friend from New Orleans.

According to documents obtained by Ad Age in October 2019, 69 percent of TikTok users are between ages 16 and 24, meaning many users are too young to sign up for certain dating apps (where prospects are location-dependent), much less go to bars (few of which, increasingly, are designated for lesbians). Plus, many teenagers are still in the closet or figuring out their sexuality. TikTok is a place where they can do so safely.

Such a companionable environment can engender impressive thirstiness. On practically any video of a pretty girl, there will be multiple comments asking, “Do you listen to Girl in Red?” — Gen Z’s female-specific version of “Are you a friend of Dorothy?”

That boldness has its downsides, though.

“Nobody should be forced to come out, ever,” said Olivia Boardman, 20, who met her girlfriend on TikTok during quarantine. She said publicly asking if someone is gay “puts people in an uncomfortable position.”

Boardman, who was outed when she was 14, said many teenage girls have sought her guidance after seeing her on TikTok. (Her bio: “CEO of giving advice to gays.”)

Unlike on Twitter or Instagram, TikTok users scroll through a main feed, or “For You” page, of algorithm-generated videos from users they may not follow. This makes for a contained user experience: Someone can join TikTok, and if they search for, interact with or create lesbian videos, their For You page will mainly contain lesbian videos. Straight influencers like Charli D’Amelio may have droves of followers, but a member of Lesbian TikTok (or other niche communities, like Alt TikTok, WitchTok or Frog TikTok) could feasibly never see them.

Avery Blanchard, 20, who is known online as Avery Cyrus, said she thought Lesbian TikTok was “the only TikTok” when she first joined the app.

“I just didn’t even know that there was a regular side of TikTok,” she said.

If Lesbian TikTok were its own world, it could be broken down into many countries with their own national anthems — songs played over and over in users’ videos. There are the cottagecore girls (anthem: Mitski’s “Strawberry Blonde” or anything by Hozier), the couples (anthem: Girl in Red’s “We Fell in Love in October”) and the aesthetes (anthem: Vivaldi’s “Summer,” from “Portrait of a Lady on Fire”), among others.

“It reminds me a lot of if AOL chat rooms could come to life,” said Shelli Nicole, a writer who has covered Lesbian TikTok for queer women’s website Autostraddle.

Influencers like Blanchard would occupy the largest territory in Lesbian TikTok World. She joined the app in October on a dare; now she has 1.6 million followers.

Blanchard met another TikTok influencer, Soph Mosca, 21, at popular creator convention Playlist Live in February. They hit it off and are now involved. Blanchard said she didn’t expect TikTok to become a matchmaking site when she first joined. “I didn’t know it had the potential to, like, be the next Tinder,” she said.

“I never thought I would date someone from TikTok,” echoed Rachael Espie, 18, who met her girlfriend, Sarah Pye, 20, when she happened upon one of Pye’s videos in her feed. Their relationship is intercontinental: Espie lives in Glasgow, Scotland, and Pye lives in California.

Lesbian TikTok has had a huge impact on Espie’s life beyond finding her a girlfriend. She said the app inspired her to come out as a lesbian in December 2019.

Vlach had a similar story: Having only dated men, she said she joined TikTok because she heard there was “this whole lesbian community” on the app.

“I can’t wait til I experience a love like this,” an 18-year-old user commented on one of Vlach’s videos with Stephens.

“I hope you find it one day,” Vlach replied.

-Lena Wilson, The New York Times-

Judith Krantz, whose tales of sex and shopping sold millions, dies at 91

Judith Krantz, who almost single-handedly turned the sex-and-shopping genre of fiction into the stuff of high commerce, making her one of the world’s best-selling novelists if not one of the most critically acclaimed, died on Saturday at her home in the Bel Air section of Los Angeles. She was 91.

Her publicist, John Tellem, confirmed the death.

Though she did not publish her first book until she was 50, Krantz reigned for decades afterward as the international queen of poolside reading. Her 10 novels — beginning with “Scruples” in 1978 and ending with “The Jewels of Tessa Kent” in 1998 — have together sold more than 85 million copies in more than 50 languages.

Most became television movies or miniseries, many of which were produced by Krantz’s husband, Steve Krantz.

What drove Krantz’s books to the tops of bestseller lists time and again was a formula that she honed to glittering perfection: fevered horizontal activities combined with fevered vertical ones — the former taking place in sumptuously appointed bedrooms and five-star hotels, the latter anywhere with a cash register and astronomical price tags.

A hallmark of the formula was that it embraced sex and shopping in almost equal measure, with each recounted in modifier-laden detail.

“Recklessly she flung herself out of her clouds of chiffon plumage only to appear in her resplendent flesh, lying totally naked on a pile of horse blankets, laughing softly as she watched Stash Valensky, momentarily bewildered and taken by surprise, struggle out of his dinner jacket,” Krantz writes in her second novel, “Princess Daisy” (1980). “Soon, very soon, he was as naked as she. He savaged her abandoned flesh with an urgency, almost a cannibalism, he hadn’t known in years.”

Elements of Krantz’s formula had existed piecemeal in earlier fiction for women, conspicuously in the work of Jacqueline Susann, the author of “Valley of the Dolls” (1966) and other steamy novels of the 1960s and ’70s. But Krantz was almost certainly the first writer to combine the steam and the shopping in such opulent profusion — and to do so all the way to the bank.

In a sense, Krantz was a fantasy novelist. Her heroines — invariably rich, thin, savvy, ambitious and preternaturally beautiful — are undisputed princesses, their castles the opulent hotels, condominiums, casinos and boutiques of New York, Paris, Beverly Hills and Monte Carlo.

Her narratives are rife with sacred objects: a hurtling catalog of brand names that offers readers a Cook’s tour of high-end material culture.

A passage from “Scruples” reads: “They went to other collections, chez Saint Laurent and Lanvin and Nina Ricci and Balmain and Givenchy and Chanel, the seats less good, sometimes quite bad, for impecunious countesses are not treated with much respect in the great couture houses.”

“I’ve never written about real people,” Krantz told Town & Country magazine in 1998, adding: “In a way, I write Horatio Alger stories for women.”

CAREER WOMEN AS HEROINES

Krantz’s novels embody a sexual politics at once feminist and retrograde. Her heroines are career women striding through glamorous realms of fashion, publishing, art and retailing. They are sexually assertive, as apt to tear off a man’s bespoke silk shirt as they are to have their own bodices ripped.

Yet in book after book, the heroine’s overriding goal is to find true love with a hero who is superlatively handsome, staggeringly virile and stupendously rich.

Not surprising, Krantz’s novels took regular drubbings from reviewers. The English novelist and critic Angela Carter once likened reading them to “being sealed inside a luxury shopping mall whilst being softly pelted with scented sex technique manuals.”

To such criticisms, Krantz brought a generous dose of self-awareness.

“I write the best books that I know how; I can’t write any better than this,” she told The Los Angeles Times in 1990. “People think that because I had a good education, I’m not writing on the level that I should. They think I’m harboring some slim little intellectual volume, that I am really Isaac Bashevis Singer in disguise.”

In the end, Krantz appeared to have the last laugh. Of all the luxury brands that loom large in her books, there is none larger or more luxurious than the Judith Krantz brand itself — a brand, impeccably built, that allowed her to lead the jet-setting, Chanel-clad life of a character in a Judith Krantz novel.

FASHION

Judith Bluma-Gittel Tarcher was born in Manhattan on Jan. 9, 1928; her middle name means “lovely flower” in Yiddish. Her father, Jack, ran his own advertising agency and was later a vice president of the Madison Avenue powerhouse Doyle Dane Bernbach. Her mother, Mary (Brager) Gittel, was a lawyer who became an executive of the Legal Aid Society. Her younger brother, Jeremy, grew up to found the publishing house J.P. Tarcher, which specializes in New Age and self-help books. (She also had a sister, Mimi.)

Young Judy was reared in a Central Park West apartment awash in Renoir, Degas and Soutine and attended the private Birch Wathen School (now the Birch Wathen Lenox School) on the Upper East Side. But her mother, wanting her not to take wealth for granted, dressed her in unfashionable clothes, a condition, Krantz later said, that made her deeply unpopular at school.

“I didn’t have romantic fantasies; I had clothes fantasies,” she told Redbook magazine in 2000. “I thought that if I had absolutely perfect clothes, everyone would like me.”

After earning a bachelor’s degree in English from Wellesley in Massachusetts, Krantz worked as a fashion publicist in Paris before returning to New York. She married Steve Krantz in 1954. He would go on to produce “Fritz the Cat” (1972), the first X-rated full-length animated film, and the romantic comedy “Cooley High” (1975).

MAGAZINE WRITER

Krantz became an accessories editor at Good Housekeeping and later wrote for women’s magazines, including Cosmopolitan.

For one article for Cosmo, she was assigned to compile readers’ sex fantasies. In doing so she added a few of her own, only to be told by the magazine’s editor, Helen Gurley Brown, that her fantasies were far too racy for Cosmo to print. Years later, Krantz cheerfully repurposed them for one of her novels.

At her husband’s urging, Krantz turned her vivid imagination to fiction in the late 1970s. With the aid of a vigorous publicity campaign by a press agent she had hired, “Scruples,” issued by Crown Publishers, reached No. 1 on The New York Times Best Seller List in the summer of 1978.

By the end of 1979, the novel had sold more than 220,000 copies in hardcover and more than 3 million in paperback. That year, in a highly publicized transaction, Bantam Books bought the paperback rights to “Princess Daisy” for $3.2 million, then a record for a softcover sale.

Krantz, who moved to Southern California with her family in the early 1970s, lived for many years in an 8,000-square-foot Bel Air home that was a riot of chintz, the silver snuff boxes and 19th-century opaline glass she collected, Chanel suits — she owned at least 40 — and Hermès . (“In a changing world, for a woman who loves handbags, Hermès is a rock in a raging storm,” Krantz wrote in “Sex and Shopping: The Confessions of a Nice Jewish Girl,” her cannily titled memoir of 2000.)

Krantz is survived by her sons, Tony and Nicholas. Steve Krantz died in 2007. Her brother, Jeremy Tarcher, died in 2015.

© 2019 New York Times News Service

source: news.abs-cbn.com

No sad endings for Japan's virtual romance fans

TOKYO, Japan – Japanese book editor Miho Takeshita is having an affair. But the recently married 30-year-old is not worried about getting caught -- her boyfriend only exists on a smartphone.

Takeshita is a fan of romance simulation games, a booming market in Japan that is winning the hearts of women looking for some unconventional loving.

"It's very addictive," Takeshita said.

"Even though the game characters aren't real, you start to develop feelings towards them."

That is the whole point, said Natsuko Asaki, a game producer at Cybird, which created the popular series Ikemen -- a Japanese term for handsome guys.

"The story is most important, as well as the characters, and the twists and turns," Asaki said.

The Ikemen app has been downloaded some 15 million times since its launch about five years ago, and the firm has also released an English version.

Mirroring the smartphone boom, female-targeted virtual romance games have ballooned into a market worth about 15 billion yen ($135 million) annually in Japan, according to the Tokyo-based Yano Research Institute.

Some 80 percent of fans, including a growing number of married women, play just before bed, a Cybird survey found.

The games do not rely on complicated algorithms, but instead offer multiple choice scenarios that let players escape into a world where they create their own love story with digital hunks.

Takeshita does not see anything strange about flirting with her smartphone sweeties.

In fact, she can engage with them whenever she likes -- something real-life spouses do not always provide.

"The games also have sexual overtones but they're expressed less crudely than in simulations made for boys," Cybird's Asaki said.

"It's an ideal love story -- there are no female rivals and no sad endings."

- 'Feed the illusion' –

The success of these games may be partly linked to dating etiquette in Japan, where men are expected to take the lead when it comes to romance.

"A Japanese woman making the first move is not viewed favourably," said Ai Aizawa, a marital relations specialist at the All About website, which offers daily living advice.

And even those women who have found a soulmate are often not satisfied romantically, she added.

"They use these simulations as an outlet, a place where they are not betrayed, and where ideal love and the perfect lover feed the illusion," Aizawa said.

Some smartphone applications such as Tokimeki kareshi (emotion buddy) or Sumakare (smartphone buddy) let users exchange texts with digital boyfriends, making the experience all the more real.

But is there any risk with a bit of smartphone hanky panky?

"Becoming an addict," said one single female fan, who asked to remain anonymous.

"You can even start to feel a little guilty if you do not play regularly -- it's a bit dangerous for teenage girls who are still immature."

Romance games are one of the culprits behind a trend that has seen some young Japanese lose interest in finding a real partner, according to a study last year by the Meiji Yasuda Life Foundation of Health and Welfare.

"The relationship that does not happen in real life happens perfectly in the game -- that can lead some people to give up looking for love, at least for a time," said marriage specialist Aizawa.

While humans can easily love a virtual partner, it is still uncertain whether that feeling could ever be reciprocated, said Hiroshi Ishiguro, a robotics designer at Osaka University.

"A male or female body is no longer the thing that defines a human being," he said.

"It's quite conceivable to really love robots or virtual characters -- there's no doubt about that.

"The question is more whether they will someday be able to love a human."

source: news.abs-cbn.com

Canadian PM Trudeau shows romance is not dead

TOKYO, Japan - Whoever said romance was dead has obviously not met Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

The 44-year-old pinup premier said Tuesday he would take a day off ahead of G7 talks in Japan to celebrate his wedding anniversary with spouse Sophie Gregoire Trudeau, calling it an essential "work-life balance".

The couple, who arrived in Japan on Monday, are headed to a traditional inn called a ryokan on Wednesday before the two-day meeting of the club of rich nations begins Thursday.

The photogenic Trudeau -- who has amassed a growing legion of mostly female fans -- said the pair would rely on "personal funds" for their 11th wedding celebration.

"This is the kind of work-life balance that I've often talked about as being essential in order to be able to be in service of the country," he told reporters in Tokyo.

Earlier Tuesday Trudeau met the Imperial couple and auto industry executives, and was to hold talks with Prime Minister Shinzo Abe in the evening.

source: www.abs-cbnnews.com

Group date? There are apps for that

Move over Tinder -- a crop of dating apps in smartphone-addicted Asia is offering to recruit friends for group dates or send along a chaperone to steer the course of romance.

While dating apps developed in the West encourage one-on-one, often no-strings-attached meetings, many in Asia are as much about old-school courtship or friendship in a region where meeting a stranger in a bar can still be a taboo.

"My upbringing was very close to my parents, religious, traditional and old-fashioned. You couldn't go on dates if your parents didn't know the guy," said Valenice Balace, who developed the Peekawoo service in the Philippines two years ago.

"I grew up with chaperoned dates and even when I was in college my kid sister was always with me on dates."

Too shy to make eye contact in bars as a singleton, the 26-year-old turned to apps similar to Tinder, which boasts tens of millions of active users, where photos of potential matches are instantly liked or rejected.

But after one man suggested he come to her house after their first online conversation, Balace realized the set-up was not for her.

And so the Filipina entrepreneur created an app which not only discouraged users from meeting one-on-one but also offered a chaperone service for those who requested it.

As Peekawoo expanded -– it now has around 7,000 members -– it was no longer practical for the small company to provide a chaperone for every couple who asked for one, and so Balace's team started organizing meetups instead.

It is a model shared by Hong Kong-based app Grouvly, which sets up groups of six people for dates.

'Hard to meet people'

"When I came to Asia, I realised it was hard to meet people," explains Colombian-born CEO Camilo Paredes.

"I also realized that most of the Asians were somewhat shy, they're not confrontational, they don't put themselves out there."

His solution was to mimic American Grouper, which matches two people according to the information on their Facebook profiles, then asks them to bring two friends with them to a bar for a six-person meet up.

While the majority of pairings are men meeting women, there is also the option of all-male or all-female dates.

"One-on-one can be super awkward. Two-on-two is still slightly awkward, but three-on-three is the magic number," says Paredes.

Alongside expats, Hong Kongers now make up 50 percent of Grouvly's users. In Singapore, most users are locals and there are plans to roll out the service to Japan, South Korea, Australia and China.

"For me, if somebody else likes the guy, they can have them," says Aly, a 24-year-old blogger from the UK and Grouvly regular.

"Ok, they're nice, but I've met them for what, two hours? I'm not going to cry about it."

Aly finds these apps can be as much about making friends as looking for love, with Peekawoo's founder saying this change of focus also allows women to take back control.

"There was one Peekawoo event where a Filipino-American guy offended a Filipina girl by asking her to go home with him," Balace remembered.

"I told her, 'I'm proud of you'. We told the guy what he did was wrong, and we never invited him again."

'Sign of promiscuity'
Even if the Singapore-based Paktor -- which claims 3.5 million registered users -- is less averse to hook ups, it has recently also added functions such as group chats.

"People either organise a group meeting or they reach out to one person in that chat to have a conversation with them," explains Joseph Phua, 31, co-founder of the app.

"It's true that people here tend to be more reserved, less direct," he added. "Asian society feels failure or rejection more strongly, it's just part of the fabric of society. That carries on into the dating space as well."

While apps are being created or tweaked to adapt to tamer local sensibilities, others like China's WeChat can lead to casual trysts with a location-based "Shake" function.

But meeting a partner online in a global hub like Hong Kong still remains less common than in the West -- despite 62.80 percent of people owning a smartphone, according to Google figures.

A 2011 survey led by Emil Ng Man-Lun of Hong Kong University's Family Institute found that just five percent of locals had met a partner online or via an app, compared to 22 percent of Americans, according to Stanford University research published that year.

"Our impression is that this is rising. But by how much it is rising, we are not sure yet," Ng says.

"People think they are a sign of promiscuity. They worry that they get into intimacy too early, without sufficient time for knowing each other. It seems, however, that these theories have not stopped people from using them."

source: www.abs-cbnnews.com

Whips, chains, capitalism: What 'Fifty Shades of Grey' is really about

(Lynn Stuart Parramore is a contributing editor at AlterNet, co-founder of Recessionwire and founding editor of New Deal 2.0 and IgoUgo.com. The opinions expressed here are her own.)

Author E.L. James has often insisted that "Fifty Shades of Grey" is wildly popular not because of its titillating trappings of transgression, but because it tells a simple love story for the ages. But this is a romance for a particular kind of age - a time of growing inequality. The social order is breaking up and leaving massive human wreckage in its wake. Dreams of love turn into fantasies of power - who has it and what they can do to those who don't have it.

When security vanishes and social bonds break down, fictional characters enter the new (ab)normal, which can often involve whips, chains and men in expensive suits with mysterious smiles. The film version of the first book of "Fifty Shades" is less a shout against the torment than a whimper - or, to be more precise, a lovesick giggle.

Other ages with pronounced power inequities have given rise to vivid sadomasochistic fantasies, such as the late-18th-century novels of the populist-minded Marquis de Sade, whose tales of pain and bondage resonated during a time when the French propertied classes had their boots firmly on the necks of the proletariat. Dreams of transgression become fantasies of liberation from brutal socioeconomic forces.

Our own age of inequality began in the 1970s, when power-hungry capitalists began to attack the New Deal, which had protected ordinary citizens from predatory elites. On cue, sadomasochism showed up at the box office in 1975 with an adaptation of "The Story of O," in which a woman is trained in sexual submission when she joins the staff of an elite club.

In 1980, the year that union-busting President Ronald Reagan won the White House, viewers channeled sadomasochist revenge fantasies in "Nine to Five," where three working women apply chains and a ball-gag to their tyrannical boss. By 1986, as financial deregulation unleashed Wall Street, we got "9½ Weeks," which introduced a new stock figure: the vaguely sadistic financier who seduces and abuses a woman of modest means.

More recently, Roman Polanski's 2013 film of David Ives' hit play "Venus in Fur," based on the 19th novel by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, portrayed a lower-class actress who degrades and dominates an elitist playwright.

Back and forth the stories go. Do you beat the elites (literally) or join them?

In "Fifty Shades," the answer is: Join them. The film is the dispiriting denouement of this late stage of capitalism, where cruel conditions are accepted and you learn to suffer the whims of the rich - and pretend to like it.

Under the rules of this cruel regime, the education of sensitive English lit major Anastasia Steele begins when she interviews billionaire Christian Grey in the sumptuous Seattle headquarters of his global empire.

When interviewee queries the ingénue on her plans after college, Anastasia mumbles that she really has no idea. After all, what could her literary studies possibly have to do with this sleek glass command center for mysterious market forces, where perfectly coifed, robotic women serve their overlord in stilettos? When Christian informs Anastasia that his firm has an internship program, she glances around doubtfully. "I don't think I'd fit in."

Oh, you'll fit in just fine, Christian's faint smile seems to say.

She'll fit right in so long as she gives up her autonomy and agrees to a contract in which he is the master and she is the slave. In lieu of an internship, Christian offers her the starring role of sexual submissive to his dominant.

The price of admission to the world of the dashing entrepreneur is the willingness to be spanked and cuffed, along with the acceptance of his dictates on everything from what to eat to which gynecologist will inspect Anastasia's genitals. In exchange, Christian will arbitrarily dispense various goodies: a new car, couture dresses and private helicopter rides. Exactly 15 women have occupied the position before Anastasia, presumably discarded once the game grew dull. (Hopefully they got to keep the clothes).

A sensitive English major, it turns out, will make a fine submissive. Notably, Anastasia is a fan of Thomas Hardy, whose 19th-century tale of a peasantry wrecked by industrialization, "Tess of the d'Urbervilles," presents a poor and inexperienced woman who dreams of a better life, for which presumption she is raped by her wealthy libertine employer. Christian will send our young heroine a first edition of the novel as a gift. A blueprint?

"There are some people who say I don't have a heart," admits Christian. "Because they know me."

Yes, we do know Christian - even if Anastasia doesn't quite get it. We understand by now that in this unwitting parable of the globalized economy, you hand over your life to the one with the money, and he screws you - perhaps even gently at first. But later, he's sure to break out the cat o' nine tails.

When the prospects of ordinary people grow dim and social mobility declines, dreams begin to alter and diminish. In the 19th-century tales of Jane Austen, characters with severely restricted possibilities of bettering their situation had to focus on marrying up as the only way out. Today, it looks like we are returning to that paradigm. Anastasia forgoes an internship, which would probably lead to nothing more than a spot on the squad of stilettoed underlings, in favor of winning the hand of the dark prince and turning him from his nasty ways.

Is it any wonder that this is the fantasy of millions of American women? Why wouldn't those shackled by low-paying jobs, bonded to childrearing with little social support and lacking possibilities for advancement and consumption become seduced by the dream of access to limitless supplies of money and the leisure time in which to explore kinky sex?

Why would they not want to be carried aloft in helicopters over the drudgery of professional and domestic life? To be distracted by mild titillations in which pain becomes pleasurable and shackles magically liberate?

Because the "Fifty Shades" trilogy is, at its core, a conventional romance, Cinderella will eventually get to live out the traditional feminine narrative of getting married and having kids with the billionaire-prince. (We'll have to wait for two more movie installments for that resolution.)

But this fantasy requires a blindfold. You have to pretend that the overlord will have a miraculous change of heart. You have to unlearn the rule of late-stage capitalism: Satisfaction is never guaranteed.

Unless, of course, you happen to be on top.

source: www.abs-cbnnews.com

Romantic Valentine's Date Ideas on the Cheap

Valentine’s Day is quickly approaching and if you are young, in love and broke, here are some inexpensive ideas to get your romance flowing.

*Admire the view. Many state parks in wintery areas are desolate this time of year and offer great Valentine’s Day packages to entice guests to stay at their lodges. Many even throw in meal packages if they have an onsite restaurant. Sitting in front of a roaring fireplace with a great view of a snowy forest will feel luxurious without sacrifice.

*See a show. If you can't afford to splurge for front row seats at a Broadway Show, check out the show season at your local university. The talent is high and the prices are low. If the show is at an alma mater that will sweeten the experience.

*Make it a lunch date. Many upscale restaurants have lunch menus with smaller portions of the dinner menu for smaller prices. You can start Valentine’s Day early in the day and still have plenty of time for other activities.

*Make sweets. Take a class at a local bakery. Many bakeries offer classes on everything from making cupcakes to elaborate cookie decorating. Factor in that you get to take home your dessert and the cost can be minimal.

*Get in the spirit. Shop local by checking out the spirits stores around your neighborhood for wine/beer/liquor tasting events. Many events are free while others charge a fee but offer hors d’oeuvres.

 *Take a stroll down memory lane. Revisit places you went when you first met. Chances are if that was a while ago when your wallet was even emptier, those places are less expensive than ones you frequent now.

*Gaze at the stars. Many planetariums and observatories have shows that are open to the general public for nominal or no fees.


 Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a budget buster. Be creative and pick something personal and sentimental that your partner will appreciate.

source: infobarrel.com

3 reminders when looking for love

MANILA – With Valentine's Day fast approaching, how do you get your special someone to feel excited about this red-letter day for couples?

In an interview on DZMM’s “Ma-Beauty Po Naman” on Sunday, human sexuality expert Dr. Agnes Bueno shared tips on how people should approach "love," whether youre already married or still looking for that special someone.

1. Don't overthink
Bueno said romance cannot be forced and must come naturally. “Hindi pwedeng ipilit ang maging romantic,” she said, likening it to dancing where steps just flow smoothly.

As such, she advised couples not to overthink, which she said can cause problems to the relationship.

"Itong mga bagay na ito kasi nasa dalawang tao 'yan eh. Di kailangang i-programa. Napakahirap i-explain din kung minsan. Healthy relationships are built on a give-and-take thing," she said.

2. Love yourself

When it comes to sustaining interest between couples, Bueno said it is also important to take care of one’s appearance.

She explained that this also reflects a person’s measure of self-respect.

"[Being careful with one’s appearance is important,] not just in a relationship. Self-respect —it goes with everything," she said.

3. Hint but don't tell

For women, Bueno said they should not ask guys if they like you straight out.

“The moment na sabihin mo na, the romance is out. It has to be given. Kailangang hindi mo hingin for it to really be romantic,” she said.

But Bueno said women can give hints if they do like the guy.

“Mahirap maging faithful kung lalaki ka. You have to be able to understand na natural sa lalaki yan. 'Wag maghintay. Mag-cue sa lakaki na gusto mo sya,” she said.

source: www.abs-cbnnews.com

Derek denies rekindling romance with Cristine in Hawaii

MANILA – Actor Derek Ramsay denied rumors that he and actress Cristine Reyes have rekindled their romance after they spent time together in Hawaii for a series of shows.

In an interview with the entertainment website Pep.ph, Ramsay said it is not true that they have gotten back together, adding that he believes that they are better off as friends.

“No, it’s not true. We’re friends, we're better off that way. Nakita ko nga sa Instagram na parang sinasabing boses ni Derek 'yun... hindi ako yun,” he said.

Despite their breakup, Ramsay said she and Reyes have managed to go back to how they used to be when they were just close friends.

“Yeah, we were like what we used to be. Kaibigan niya rin 'yung best friend ko from Australia. Parang nagsama kami, apat kami noon. 'Yung ex-boss ng best friend ko was with us. And there were few days na we did something together,” he explained.

While they stayed in the same hotel in Hawaii, Ramsay clarified that they weren’t together the entire time.

“Cristine and I, we’re in the same hotel, we were able to talk, so wala kaming problema. But she moved to… she had a show pa in the States, mainland. She went off to the mainland. Ako, bumalik na ako dito,” he said.

Ramsay added: “There, she had her own thing, her own itinerary. Pero there was one time na we did all go out, and we had a lot of fun. Clean fun.”

By Ramsay's admission, he and Reyes became a couple last August 28, after being close friends since 2011 when they co-starred in the romance-drama film "No Other Woman."

It was on October 7 when Ramsay admitted that his one-month romance with the actress was the “shortest longest relationship” he ever had.

“Shortest [because] it’s a month. Longest, because I have a friend for life. And I’m gonna be her friend for life,” he said in a report published on philstar.com.

While he refused to give details about his breakup with Reyes, Ramsay said, “It’s just a decision that was made.”

source: www.abs-cbnnews.com

Cayetano addresses 'romantic' ties with Kris

MANILA, Philippines -- TV and film director Lino Cayetano has spoken up about rumors romantically linking him to Kris Aquino.


In an interview with ABS-CBN News on Wednesday, Cayetano said he and the 42-year-old actress-host have become closer as friends, but denied that they are romantically involved.

"We're good friends ni Kris. I'm very thankful for her friendship. I'm getting to know her. She's a very good person," Cayetano said.

Rumors of a romantic relationship between Aquino and the film director started to surface in January, following his guest appearance on host's morning talk show "Kris TV."

During the program, Aquino teased that Bianca Gonzalez, the director's former girlfriend, had told her that she "approves" of any romantic ties between the "Kailangan Ko'y Ikaw" star and the film director.

Asked how his friendship with Aquino developed, Cayetano said on Wednesday, "I met her before through Liz Uy (fashion stylist, also Cayetano's former girlfriend), tapos sa ABS nagkikita kami, then more and more nag-uusap kami."

He clarified, however, that they have not been "going out."

"Sa akin, it's simple lang -- we're friends. If there's anything more to it, siguro people will know naman, if that ever happens," he said.

On the possibility of working with Aquino on a project, Cayetano added, "Yeah, for sure, I would love to work with her. Ako, I'm attracted to strong and smart women. My ate (Senator Pia Cayetano) is like that, so wala naman problema sa akin 'yun."

source: abs-cbnnews.com

Cristalle Heneras now being linked to Derek

MANILA, Philippines – Celebrity doctor Vicki Belo has no problem about actor Derek Ramsay being romantically linked to her daughter, Cristalle Henares.

But Belo maintained that Henares and Ramsay share nothing but a close friendship.

“They’re both very athletic so they hang out together. Pero wala namang yatang romance sa pagkakaalam ko. Baka may secret, hindi ko alam,” she said.

Henares also denied that she has a romantic relationship with the actor, saying she is just close to Ramsay’s family.

“As a matter of fact, nung new year pumunta kami sa Bukidnon together with his family, tapos nag-Palawan kami last month. Pero nothing more than a sister talaga,” she said.

Another reason they always see each other is because Ramsay is an endorser of the Belo Sun Expert, Henares pointed out.

“Derek and I have been working together also dahil siya din ang isang endorser namin. Baka naisip lang ng tao na baka may nangyayari kasi parati kaming nagkikita, pero wala talaga,” she said.

Asked for a message to those who see something more to their closeness, Henares said: “Hindi naman ako showbiz, hindi naman ako sanay dito. At least sa amin, between us, we know the truth. There’s nothing wrong being linked to each other, pareho naman kaming single, ‘di ba? Wala namang naapektuhan na iba.”

Henares used to be in a relationship with Azkals defender Jason Sabio. Ramsay, on the other hand, has been linked to actress Cristine Reyes after his break-up with actress Angelica Panganiban.

source: abs-cbnnews.com

Sam Concepcion opens up on Jasmine Curtis-Smith

Kapamilya singer gears up for 'new music, new image'

MANILA, Philippines -- Sam Concepcion has finally addressed his rumored romantic ties with actress-model Jasmine Curtis-Smith.

The 20-year-old Kapamilya singer said he intends to formally court the younger sister of "Kailangan Ko'y Ikaw" star Anne Curtis, and by extension their family members.

Concepcion said he has been visiting Jasmine and Anne's mother Carmencita Ojales at the hospital, where had been admitted for a hip surgery. After a successful operation, she was discharged from the hospital on Saturday.

"I still have to... ligawan syempre the family, her mom, and Anne and everyone else. It never ends, it doesn't stop there. Hindi naman siguro matatapos yung panliligaw ko sa kanila," Concpecion told ABS-CBN News at the sidelines of the recent launch of the first store of American Eagle Outfitters in the country.

Asked on the current status of his relationship with Jasmine, Concepcion only offered that they have been able to spend more time together recently, now that the 18-year-old actress is based in the Philippines.

Until this year, Jasmine had been based in Australia for her studies.

"We've known each other for a long time. She is special naman talaga to me. We've been seeing more of each other recently because she's here now," Concepcion said.

He also affirmed when asked if he is happy that Jasmine is staying in the Philippines now.

Meanwhile, Concepcion said he is gearing up for his music career launch in Indonesia. The singer was originally set to go on tour there in February, but had to put off the schedule due to recent floodings in Jakarta.

According to Concepcion, his latest album will offer an "all-new" image and music for him as a performer.

"My album is under Universal Records. It's going to be new music for me, something that you haven't heard me do. Bagong look. Just showing the audience na this is the new me. It's very different kung ano 'yung nire-release ko dati," he said.

He added that the shift in image is also a way to "graduate" from his being identified with the popular kiddie talent search "Little Big Star," which he won in 2005.

"Parang na-stuck 'yung mga tao sa idea na 'Little Big Star' pa rin ako eh, which is a long time ago. So I'll be presenting the new me which I hope they will like," he said.

source: abs-cbnnews.com

Romantic Filipinos bridge the gap with online serenades

MANILA – Romantic Filipinos abroad have found a way to bridge the gap with loved ones at home on Valentine's Day -- via an online serenade service.

Jane Soco, managing director of Harana.ph, said Thursday the company's professional singers would lift the spirits of those left behind as their partners toil in a foreign land.

"We're booked out even days ahead of Valentines. Filipinos are very romantic and they will not let distance get in the way of celebrating this day," she said.

"About 80 percent of our clients are people who work abroad, who want to make their partners here feel special by serenading them."

For a fee of between P7,000 and P12,000 ($172-295), Harana.ph will deploy singers, hand out teddy bears and serenade the lonely lover left behind in the Philippines.

The whole event is videotaped and posted on its website.

Soco said the service has helped ease the pain of separation, or even saved rocky long-distance relationships.

One video posted on its portal showed Harana.ph crooners serenading a tearful office worker on her wedding anniversary. The woman received a teddy bear and a special message from her overseas-based husband read by the singers.

An estimated 10 million Filipinos, or about a tenth of the population, work abroad and their dollar remittances help keep the economy afloat.

Meanwhile, about 400 couples joined a mass wedding officiated by the country's Vice President Jejomar Binay.

The couples exchanged vows inside a packed gymnasium on the outskirts of Manila's Makati financial district, as a school band played love songs that drowned out the heavy traffic outside.

source: abs-cbnnews.com

Isabelle can handle 'wars' over Dingdong, says mom

MANILA, Philippines -- Actress and former beauty queen Gloria Diaz expressed confidence that her daughter, TV host Isabelle Daza, can handle "wars" that may erupt over her being romantically linked to an actor who is currently in a long-term relationship.


"Alam mo, kaya ni Belle 'yan. Belle is a basketball player. She's a soccer player," Diaz told reporters on Monday night, when asked if her daughter is "prepared" for a possible "war" with actress Marian Rivera, the girlfriend of actor Dingdong Dantes.

In recent weeks, Daza has been romantically linked to Dantes, whose relationship with Rivera started in late 2008.

Rivera is known to have figured in public spats with women who were linked to Dantes during their relationship.

"But [Isabelle] is not the type to get somebody else's boyfriend. Hindi siya 'yung tipong ganun eh, nang-aagaw," said Diaz, who maintains there is no truth to a supposed blooming romance between Dantes and her daughter.

"I think they've only met once during the pictorials and everything. I haven't seen any flowers at home or chocolates... So baka hindi totoo," she added.

In April, Daza and Dantes were launched as the endorsers of a clothing line's specialized consumer card.

The veteran actress, however, also expressed concern over the controversy.

"Huwag lang sana siya awayin ng kung sinu-sino diyan. Kasi hindi niya kaya 'yan, mababa ang luha ni Belle eh, baka mapaiyak," Diaz said.

"Kasi she's really like that. She's very sensitive, and she's not the type. Hindi siya sanay sa bakbakan," she added.

source: abs-cbnnews.com

Is Shaina dating Diether Ocampo?

MANILA, Philippines - Has actress Shaina Magdayao moved on from her failed romance with John Lloyd Cruz by dating actor Diether Ocampo?

In an interview with "The Buzz" aired on Sunday, Magdayao put the rumors to rest by saying that she only sees Ocampo as an older brother.

"Ano ba? Kuya ko si Diet. Under kami sa isang handler so he's my older brother," says Magdayao.

The actress said she wants to put an end to the issue.

"Ano ba? Huwag niyo nang lagyan ng malisya," Magdayao said.

Magdayao and Ocampo are both under Star Magic. They both starred in the hit series "Rubi", starring Angelica Panganiban.

Magdayao, who is now busy with her afternoon series "Kung Ako'y Iiwan Mo" just broke up with actor John Lloyd Cruz.

source: abs-cbnnews.com

Heart tweets that she misses ‘Chiz’

MANILA, Philippines - Actress Heart Evangelista seems to be slowly opening up on her rumored romance with Senator Francis "Chiz" Escudero."

On her Twitter account on Wednesday, Evangelista posted a message about missing her "Chiz."

"I miss you Chiz curls!," tweeted Evangelista, who has remained mum about the real status of her relationship with the senator.

She then tweeted about other snacks that she misses, like pichi-pichi.

The actress and Escudero have been spotted several times together, after her she ended her relationship with Japanese-Brazilian model Daniel Matsunaga.

In a recent interview, Evangelista admitted that she's having fun with her "meetings" with Escudero.

Meanwhile, Escudero, who's back as a guest co-host of "KrisTV," asked the show's main host, Kris Aquino, on Wednesday for suggestions on where he could take a four- to six-day vacation before the campaign starts next year.

"Kung may four days, saan magandang pumunta?" Escudero asked Aquino, who replied: "With your kids or with your, you know who?"

Aquino then suggested the senator to try visiting Bali, Indonesia.

"Halos walang Pinoy (doon) kung gusto niyo ng privacy, I assume you want that. Hindi naman sa nagtatago pero 'yung ano lang talaga, 'yung alam mo, you want privacy right?" Aquino said.

"Kung hindi doon, halos lahat ng tao ang binibida ay Maldives... the other option diyan para at least may pagka-cosmopolitan pa din, Japan," she added.

The actress-host even teased Escudero that he could also consider vacationing to Las Vegas.

"Go to Las Vegas na lang, ang saya. Ikakasal kayo," Aquino said with a laugh.

source: abs-cbnnews.com

Poon admits romance with Maricar Reyes

MANILA, Philippines -- Crooner Richard Poon has admitted that he is currently in a relationship with actress Maricar Reyes.

"Just last July... I think July 1st," Poon said in an interview with KrisTV on Wednesday, adding that he first met Reyes while doing the music video for his song "You and I."

Poon first admitted that he was courting Reyes back in October 2010, saying Reyes is the first celebrity he has pursued.

In his interview on "KrisTV," Poon also said he is even considering marrying Reyes.

"I think kung sasagutin niya ako, I would really consider that seriously," he said.

Poon began courting Reyes even after she was dragged in a sex video scandal with controversial Dr. Hayden Kho in 2009.

The singer also promised to always protect Reyes. "I'm a man myself. I have my own shortcomings and all, but I will try my best, everything that I can [do for her]," he said.

article source: abs-cbnnews.com

KC confirms breakup with Piolo, reveals 'may mga bagay na hindi ko na kayang lunukin'

MANILA, Philippines - KC Concepcion has finally laid long-running speculations to rest by admitting that she and Piolo Pascual have called it quits after an estimated year-long romance.

In what may well be her most emotional interview to date via "The Buzz" on Nov. 27, KC did not reveal the reason behind their breakup because "ayoko lang makasakit ng tao." She likewise begged off answering her co-host Boy Abunda's query if there's a third party involved in the split.

Nevertheless, the singer-host-actress pointed out that, "PJ [Piolo's nickname] knows exactly why we broke up." This reason, she added, was also the "worst" part of their relationship.

Couple problems

The 26-year-old KC gave indirect yet seemingly telling statements about issues that she and Piolo, 34, had as lovers.

"May mga hinahanap ako na napaka-basic lang na hanapin ng isang babae sa isang boyfriend, sa isang lalaki. Ayoko na sigurong pumunta sa details kasi ayokong siraan siya. Pero let’s just say na lahat talaga kaya ko, lahat, lahat-lahat... Tinanggap ko 'yung anak niya. Kahit may mga times na hindi ko siya maintindihan, tinanggap ko kasi sinasabi sa akin ng mga kaibigan namin na personality niya 'yun. Kapag may mga bagay na hindi ako sang-ayon, na dapat ginagawa sa isang babae, tinatanggap ko kasi naniniwala akong mabait siyang tao," she said.

KC eventually broke down. "May mga bagay na hindi ko na kayang lunukin… Hindi ko na kaya 'yun tanggapin…"

In their relationship, KC admitted that she was also at fault in some aspects, saying, "Syempre ginusto ko naman 'to di ba? So kasalanan ko rin sa sarili ko kasi pinaglaban ko pa eh. Ginusto ko eh. Tsaka sobra-sobra talaga akong nagtiwala. Sobra."

"Minsan kailangan mo rin intindihin 'yung sarili mo kasi bigay lang ako nang bigay, tsaka iniintindi ko lahat. Parang masyado akong nagbigay ng benefit of the doubt sa lahat. Intindi lang ako nang intindi, tinatanggap ko lang nang tinatanggap. 'Yun pala hindi pala dapat ganon," she also said.

A lot of things became clear to KC in their first anniversary last Oct. 21, particularly, "'yung mga kaya ko at hindi ko kayang gawin," she said.

Boy asked, "Bilang girlfriend?" KC firmly responded, "Bilang babae."

Though extremely painful, KC realized that "hindi ako 'yung kailangan niya sa buhay niya. Or hindi ako 'yung hinanahanap niya sa buhay niya. And hindi ko mabigay sa kanya 'yung kailangan niya."

Madness and second chances

The months that led to their breakup weren't easy for KC, given that, as she admitted, she's not the type to open her problems up to people.

"Nung time na na-realize ko na talagang hindi na talaga 'to gagana, dalawa or tatlong buwan talaga ako pumapasok sa 'The Buzz' every Sunday or sa 'ASAP [Rocks]' na kunyari okay lang lahat, kasi akala ko parang mawawala lang siya... akala ko parang hindi naman kailangan malaman ng ibang tao para maayos 'yung problema but then, talagang ‘pag pumapasok ako tapos pagdating ng commercial break, hindi ko na talaga alam kung anong mararamdaman ko dahil sa lahat ng pinagdadaanan namin... nagkukulong na lang ako sa banyo. Hindi ko na pwedeng gawin 'yun eh. Hindi ko na siya kayang mag-isa," KC said at length.

The recent US tour she did with Piolo, as well as with Yeng Constantino, also became like an "exam" and a "tug of war" for KC, "Kasi ito 'yung taong minahal ko o mahal mo, pero sobra akong nasasaktan ngayon, pero mahal ko siya, pero hindi na talaga pwede," she said.

She added, "And araw-araw na magkasama kami iniisip ko 'dito lang tayo sa Amerika nagkaroon ng panahon na tayong dalawa lang, ni hindi natin na-enjoy dahil hindi na talaga gagana.'"

All the pain and disappointments eventually piled up and turned to anger, KC recalled. The effects apparently appalled her.

"First time ko rin na parang napapamura na rin ako. Hindi naman ako gano'n, and bigla na lang akong maiiyak kasi hindi pala ako okay."

"[And] never pa akong nakapagdasal ng ganito ka-sobra. First time kong magdasal ng ganito, na talagang, Diyos na 'yun, pwede pa akong magtiwala... And siya lang po talaga yung naging kakampi ko sa lahat," said KC.

She lamented the manner in which Piolo addressed the then-rumors about their relationship.

"Siya natatawa lang siya kapag nakikita kong ini-interview siya, idadaan na lang niya sa joke. Na parang ako, 'Bakit ikaw ganyan, ako ganito?' Bakit parang hanggang sa huli, mag-isa lang ako dito?" she said, adding that she was unsure how to spill the beans to her mother, Megastar Sharon Cuneta, as well as to her grandmother, Elaine Cuneta, who KC stressed, loves the hunk singer-actor dearly.

Piolo nevertheless apologized to KC and asked for another chance.

"Ganun naman po si PJ, humihingi po ng tawad pero ang point naman po ng pagpapatawad ng isang babae is para sana hindi na maulit. Kasi hindi ka naman magpapatawad na iisipin mong paulit-ulit tapos paulit-ulit din na magso-sorry," she said.

KC said she gave Piolo seven chances, but when it got to the eighth, she realized, "hindi lahat ng problema nadadaan sa kilig… nadadaan sa tawa."

"Kasi ang galing-galing niyang magpakilig. Ang tanga-tanga ko nga eh. Dumating lang siya sa point na sandali lang, parang hindi na natin ina-ano 'yung totoong nangyayari. Kasi titignan ka lang niya, ay wala na talaga, nakalimutan ko na lahat. Eh lagi na lang gano'n," she lamented.

Lessons learned

Despite everything that they went through, KC said, "Naniniwala naman ako na ‘pag sinasabi ni PJ na minahal niya ako, naniniwala naman ako na meron namang katotohanan 'yon."

Her first "showbiz" relationship--as KC would say--taught her to be more mature.

"First relationship ko din na seryoso talaga na to the point na talagang may mga bagay na hindi naman kumportable, nagagawa mong tanggapin kasi mahal mo and you choose to accept... Mas naiintindihan ko kung ano 'yung pagmamahal. It sounds corny pero mas [naging] accepting ako," she said.

Asked what were the key lessons she learned from their relationship, the Mega-daughter said, "Magtira ka para sa sarili mo, at ang tiwala na ibibigay mo sa taong mamahalin mo, dapat alagaan nung taong mahal mo."

As of now, KC said she and Piolo are on "civil" terms.

"Ang hinihingi ko lang sa kanya, 'PJ please wag kang magagalit sa'kin dahil nasaktan ako. Wag kang magagalit sa'kin dahil hindi ako perpekto. Wag kang magagalit sa'kin dahil may mga bagay na hindi ko na kayang intindihin at tanggapin. Wag kang magagalit sa'kin kung kailangan ko munang maramdaman 'to lahat, kung kailangan ko munang mag-respond at mag-react, kung paano normal na mag-react ang isang babae sa sitwasyon ko. Please.'"

Notwithstanding the pain and the tears, KC remains hopeful about love. Her wish? "Makahanap ako ng true love!" she exclaimed, laughing while tears filled her eyes.

source: mb.com.ph